Dwell on the saying First
Impressions Last in the light of Impression Management theory
First impressions are very important to a person
whether in the career or private lives. We do not get a second chance,
thus, we should be aware about making a good impression the first time.
There is a proverb meet- by- clothes-see-off by mind, which means that
one look is all it takes to make an opinion about you and 'label' you.
It takes the others only 5 seconds to have impression about you. When
you meet a person you look firstly at her clothing. While talking with
her you judge her behavior and read her body language at a sub-conscious
level.
Impression Management is a science of reacting appropriately
to another person’s body language. Impression Management methods are
extremely useful during job interviews, dates and other aspects of social
life. Persons who can perform impression management successfully do
often gain important advantages in many situations.
18 Ways to Improve Your Body Language
- 1. Don’t cross your arms or legs – You have probably already heard you shouldn’t cross your arms as it might make you seem defensive or guarded.
This goes for your legs too. Keep your arms and legs open.
- 2. Have eye contact, but
don’t stare – If there are several people you are talking to, give them all some eye contact to create a better
connection and see if they are listening. Keeping too much eye-contact
might creep people out. Giving no eye-contact might make you seem insecure.
If you are not used to keeping eye-contact it might feel a little hard or scary in the beginning but keep
working on it and you’ll get used to it.
- 3. Don’t be afraid to take up some
space – Taking up space by for example sitting or standing with your legs
apart a bit signals self-confidence and that you are comfortable in your own skin.
- 4. Relax your shoulders – When you feel tense it’s easily winds up as tension in your shoulders. They might move up
and forward a bit. Try to relax. Try to loosen up by shaking the shoulders
a bit and move them back slightly.
- 5. Nod when they are talking – nod once in a while to signal that you are listening. But don’t overdo it and peck like Woody Woodpecker.
- 6. Don’t slouch, sit up straight – but in a relaxed way, not in a too tense manner.
- 7. Lean, but not too much – If you want to show that you are interested in what someone is saying,
lean toward the person talking. If you want to show that you’re confident in yourself and relaxed lean back a bit. But don’t lean in too much or you might seem needy and desperate for some approval. Or lean back too much or you might seem arrogant
and distant.
- 8. Smile and laugh – lighten up, don’t take yourself too seriously. Relax a bit, smile and laugh when someone
says something funny. People will be a lot more inclined to listen to you if you seem to be a positive person. But don’t be the first to laugh at your own jokes, it makes you seem nervous
and needy. Smile when you are introduced to someone but don’t keep a smile plastered on your face, you’ll seem insincere.
- 9. Don’t touch your face – it might make you seem nervous and can be distracting for the listeners
or the people in the conversation.
- 10. Keep your head up – Don’t keep your eyes on the ground, it might make you seem insecure and
a bit lost. Keep your head up straight and your eyes towards the horizon.
- 11. Slow down a bit – this goes for many things. Walking slower not only makes you seem
more calm and confident, it will also make you feel less stressed. If
someone addresses you, don’t snap your neck in their direction, turn it a bit more slowly instead.
- 12. Don’t fidget and try to avoid, phase out or transform fidgety movement and nervous
ticks such as shaking your leg or tapping your fingers against the table
rapidly. You’ll seem nervous and fidgeting can be a distracting when you try to get something across. Declutter your movements
if you are all over the place. Try to relax, slow down and focus your
movements.
- 13. Use your hands more
confidently instead of fidgeting with your hands and scratching your face use
them to communicate what you are trying to say. Use your hands to describe
something or to add weight to a point you are trying to make. But don’t use them to much or it might become distracting. And don’t let your hands flail around, use them with some control.
- 14. Lower your drink. Don’t hold your drink in front of your chest. In fact, don’t hold anything in front of your heart as it will make you seem guarded
and distant. Lower it and hold it beside your leg instead.
- 15. Realise where you spine
ends – many people (including me until recently) might sit or stand with a straight
back in a good posture. However, they might think that the spine ends
where the neck begins and therefore crane the neck forward in a Montgomery Burns-pose. Your spine ends in the back of your head. Keep you whole spine straight
and aligned for better posture.
- 16. Don’t stand too close –one of the things we learned from Seinfeld is that everybody gets
weirded out by a close-talker. Let people have their personal space, don’t invade it.
- 17. Mirror – Often when you get along with a person, when the two of you get a
good connection, you will start to mirror each other unconsciously.
That means that you mirror the other person’s body language a bit. To make the connection better you can try a bit
of proactive mirroring. If he leans forward, you might lean forward.
If she holds her hands on her thighs, you might do the same. But don’t react instantly and don’t mirror every change in body language. Then weirdness will ensue.
- 18. Keep a good attitude – last but not least, keep a positive, open and relaxed attitude. How
you feel will come through in your body language and can make a major
difference. For information on how make yourself feel better read 10 ways to change how you feel.
- You can change your body language but as all
new habits it takes a while. Especially things like keeping you head up might take time to correct if you have spent thousands of
days looking at your feet. And if you try and change to many things
at once it might become confusing and feel overwhelming.
- Take a couple of these body language bits to
work on every day for three to four weeks. By then they should have developed into new
habits and something you’ll do without even thinking about it. If not, keep on until it sticks.
Then take another couple of things you’d like to change and work on them.